Today I’m kickin’ back and savoring life.
Why? I’m recently engaged and deeply in love. Committed to the man of my dreams. (I refused to settle!) I’ve found a Paradise town… sweet, rural…to raise our family while riding horses, reading books outdoors all year long, and hiking in the sun. I’m enjoying my body as a woman, my physical strengths and vulnerabilities (thank you Dr. Christine Winthrop , Carolyn Myss and Louise Hay)!
I’m enjoying a simply…luscious…day.
Yet, I have a continuous, nagging thought of Judgment–
I feel like the infamous bon-bon-eating housewife (ok, they’re actually organic green grapes). But you get the picture.
I grew up in a religion and culture which teaches that sacrifice equals Spirituality. Therefore, my joy thoughts are peppered with, “I should be DOing something, Darn it!”
I’m actually judging myself for having a ‘good’ day…
part of the Ebb and Flow of life! As if Simply Being isn’t good enough. As if I don’t deserve to just enjoy. Good grief.
To that, my current Spiritual Self says, “Bah, humbug.”
As women, I feel we must practice Receiving. Heck, our bodies are even build to receive a partner. So why are most of us so practiced at giving all of ourselves that when a receiving moment comes, we feel we ‘should’ be giving?
Retraining my thoughts constantly, I believe that we must receive to give of ourselves…to be creative.
So I’m resolved to sit with the discomfort of Simply Being. Tomorrow I might paint a pretty picture. But tonight…green grapes and Netflix Chickflick.
Hold on. I have a box of bon bons in the kitchen I’ve saved to give as a hostess gift.
Forget the grapes. I’m eating those Bon Bons myself. With truffle chocolate dusting my keyboard, tonight is MINE to enjoy….with a proper Ebb of Receiving…
Chick flicks and Bon Bons.
Receive to Give.
Ebb + Flow = Creativity.
What a concept.
Sweet dreams! xoxoxoRob